ImageWe have drawn the inspiration for this post from a true story.  It’s a story about a particular moment in a romantic relationship. Everything starts with a question: when things seem to become difficult in your relationship and, as a couple, you are experiencing hard times in your life and so in your relationship, what do you do then? Do you ACT or do you REACT?

Once again, while we were writing this post, we were telling each other: “we should read our mantras and our books each and every day, there is so much we still have to learn from them”. Please, this is not a commercial advertisement: we do really believe in this humble statement. In one of our mantras we say: “when you are out of balance, do not react through anger and resentment: do not act until you are able to respond with love”. The problem is: how difficult is to bring this undisputed truth into our lives and into our relationships? That’s the real question, because even when we know what we should do, then we act in the opposite way and the result of our action, not only does not solve that problem we are dealing with, but it creates new problems. 

The story begins when two very good friends of ours, a married couple, have started to experience hard times in their relationship. We will not show their real names, of course, so Steve and Jenny are fantasy names. This is what has happened to them.

Steve is managing his own herbalist shop. He has always done his best in trying to improve his business but, despite all his efforts and energies, the economical crisis that is affecting almost the whole world, has started to dig a big hole between his efforts and the financial results and earnings. Meantime, he has started to suffer blood pressure problems, he has become much more nervous, sometimes he was so full of anger and resentment towards the whole human race that we were seriously thinking that he was driving everyone crazy. This is not strange at all, lots of people react with anger when there is something going wrong in their lives. You could hear him say things like “that crazy stupid customers do not buy anything at all, they should all explode, what the f**k are they doing, all politicians are ***, everyone is guilty but me” and other similar, not-exactly-relaxed statements…But this is not the real problem. When you are sharing your life with another soul, you should receive help from them, but in which way? Here we come back to the first question: what can your partner do for you, in order to support and heal you, and what he/she should NOT do? In this case, we have noticed this: Steve was coming back at home carrying a burden of anger and resentment, and Jenny was waiting at home telling to herself: “oh, he will for sure be angry again, he is driving me nuts, he is out of control, I earn more money than him at this moment, I must take every decision and he should not complain because he is guilty and I do not want to listen at him”. Well, this is not exactly a “welcome back, honey”, isn’t it? Someone should say, at this moment: hey, but what if your partner is angry and comes back home showing a dark face, expressing all his anxiety for the future? I MUST REACT! I must shout at him, beacuse he is hurting me! Oh, God, no you should not react, you should not shout at him. Jenny was projecting his husband’s fears onto herself, instead of understanding that everything from Steve was only a desperate request for help. Sometimes it is difficult to interact with someone who feels so nervous, but you cannot simply say: if he’s nervous, I am allowed to be nervous too. In this way, the problem that, in reality, was outside of their relationship, was suddendly coming into their lives as un uninvited and unpleasant guest. Why was this happening? Simply because Steve and Jenny were not able to stay connected each other out of any judgment. Jenny was judging Steve (he is becoming impossible, intractable) and Steve was judging Jenny (she hates me, she is not supporting me, she is always nervous). Everyone was looking at their partner outside the perspective ot the Oneness, in a separate way. 

What if Jenny, instead of being worried about Steve’s behaviours, had waited for him with an open heart, hugging him with the consciousness that his sufferings were not related to their love  and that everything that was making Steve suffering should be kept outside of their relationship because it had nothing to do with their Love? 

The border between happiness and sorrow is really thin. Sometimes we forget how much we love our partner. We should remember this every day, at every moment. Steve and Jenny were and they still are responsible (responsible, but not guilty) for what happens in theri relationship, but they are not responsible for what happens outside of their relationship. When Steve and Jenny will realize that their love is still pure (and it is a pure love) they will immediately stop to pollute it with external germs that their spiritual body refuses to host within themselves. 

Now they are experiencing a happier moment but, if they do not clean their projective mechanisms, they will make again the same mistakes. We pray for them, because their love is strong, and love is the meaning of our life. 

Thanks for reading this post. 

“See” you soon.

With Love, 

Human Angels